Thursday, September 29, 2005
tell me it isn't true...
i rather not know d painful truth...
but to continue living in deception...
things will just remain d way it is...
just laughter and joy between you and me.
tell me what should i do...
to pretend nothing had happened...
or to say goodbye forever.
i've lost my rationality...
to distinguish between right and wrong...
tell me i was dreaming...
dat it was only a nightmare...
for the affliction will be gone when i awake from this...
hoping to see u lying beside me...
whispering into my ears that everything will be fine...
tell me tell me...
u'll always be my cutie...
and i'll always be your lil' girl.
as we continue to relish in each other's company...
it's our forbidden affaire de coeur....
*//Lil' girl is lost//*
11:52 AM
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
I know what was d biggest mistake in my life...
it was....
... to believe that dreams come true...
1:43 PM
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Devils again...
Pills and alcohol crash...
i tot i was gonna collapse anytime...
but luckily i could hang on...
I just couldn't talk...
Janice left at 3...
I was alone with some other new friends till 6...
They sent me back...
one of them stayed at 161a...
loads of images flooded my mind when d car drove past...
i could clearly remember how heartless he treated me at d void deck...
d big field that brought vivid memories of kite flying...
d 83 bus stop with lots of flies...
d sparkles at d back garden...
d walks to d supermarket...
i couldn't helped it...
tears came streaming from my eyes...
it re-live my fears...
all over again...
pick up pieces of me...
bits of my life...
that makes me smile and cry...
while my heart dies...
close my eyes...
and trace my tears...
i tot i've forgotten d way back home...
but no... i didn't...
i was able to show d directions back home.
a journey of pain...
*// i cannot think.i cannot breathe.i cannot find a soul...
one who cares.one who loves.one who finds me too... //*
9:55 PM
Saturday, September 24, 2005
1. T3 digi cam
2. Eyeliner
3. Handphone
4. Contact lens
5. Body whip
6. Hair removal cream
7. Tampons
8. Hair straightening iron
9. G-strings
10. Shaver
11. High-heels
12. Alcohol
13. My lovely bed
14. Clorets
15. Janice
16. Joreen
17. Gina
18. My family
19. Someone special
Last but not least...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
my love of all time..
.
.
.
.
.
.
www. xx-intoxicatedallure-xx.blogspot.com
9:08 AM
@ Devils Bar 16th September 2005 [[COPYRIGHT]]
8:13 AM
Friday, September 23, 2005
The night before yesterday.
Party nite at Momo...
I was at Janice's place to prepare for the nite...
There were no plans to club initially...
and i didn't feel like clubbing...
but since an evo is gonna pick us up and send us to momo...
then why not?
Ya. Say we are mean...
hey...
but he was d one who was willing...
moreover... i brought 2 sexy ladies along...
3 pretty girls in his car... what more can he ask for?
Well... d music d crowd was horrendous that nite...
we had *huge* people trying to challenge us on d dancefloor...
we ended up having a good laugh... and just stood there...
it would be a total insult to us...
if we actually "played" along with such shallow-minded people...
and we didn't want to appear so unglamorous...
i had 2 sexiest girls on d dancefloor beside me...
and with our regular clubbing of 3 times a week...
do we have to do anything more to capture d attention of others?
Thinkin that i'm tryin to say that we always attract a swamp of bees?
Definitely no...
i'm also not saying that we can't or don't attract...
but we felt that...
they can have all d attention they want...
and it doesn't bothers us...
Since we weren't having fun at momo...
and d primary reason was no other than...
cutie's presence at mdm wong and asked us to go over.
We left momo at 1am and switch over to mdm wong...
cutie was with 3 other friends...
janice naturally entertained his friends...
without fail... she made their nite a memorable one...
had loads of fun playing games and just by seeing her play games...
it brought immerse joy to all of us...
A nite filled with so much laughters.
Thanks to her... for shifting to mdm wong for my sake...
i had one of d best nites in my life once again...
having cutie by my side d entire nite...
is more than i could ever asked for.
we left the club at 3 plus...
janice had ba ku teh with d 3 others at balestier...
cutie made a trip back to get his stuff before heading back to my place...
he stayed over =) ...
and sent me to work d next morning.
We had breakfast before going to work...
though i was totally drained out...
but it was indubitable that cutie made my day a pleasant one =) .
*//Lil' girl smiles//*
10:05 PM
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Something is wrong with my body...
i just don't feel right...
should i see a doctor bout it...
but i'm scared...
i'll see how...
just pray everything is alrite.
2:57 PM
He came all d way to Eunos... Just to send me all d way home...
Took out a box of strepsils from his bag when d cab was bout to reach my place...
he actually remembered my cough?... really sweet of him.
Thanks for d journey back home.
1:21 AM
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Enrapturing, enthralling
And all things considered
My thoughts, my words
My mind is littered
Walking down memory lane...
Thinkin bout d past and how's life is never fair...
d good beings and d bad...
d happy ones and d sad...
d fortunate and d unfortunate...
I can't help but think of d lil' things in life
That bring me such joy and cause much strife
But some thoughts keep coming back again and again
I wish they'd stop and leave me be...
Allow my memories to fade i prayed with all my heart...
so i wouldn't feel so affected...
when i see words that i don't wish to see.
Qualities versus principles...
which should i put ahead...
can i let go of them and accept something i thought i could never.
Don't change my mind...
I'm at war with my heart...
My mind's in the battle...
for there are too many things to handle.
Choosing between options...
is my biggest weakness...
faced with uncertainty and possibility of either
d beginning of a nightmare or just a simple journey.
So afraid till i set cutie's pic as my wallpaper...
to constantly remind me...
what i really want in my life.
Tables are turned and d stakes are high
Greed could consume and quench one's thirst
but how will she decide
she wants it so much but that could hurt herself
Temptation catches the corner of her eye
but will she risk it all
It breaks my heart to see that she's destroying herself...
We can never acquire everything our heart desires...
be it matters of d heart or material satisfication.
We know that what we want is not a rebound...
just that someone special to stay by our side.
I've learnt that not everything goes the way we want...
and at d end of a relationship...
i have come to realised that it's no use putting so much effort onto someone...
because he will never remember all that you've done for him...
everything just goes all d way down d drain in d blink of an eye.
Happiness is just momentary...
So why not brace yourself together and higher your self-worthiness?
Please girl, i beg u to love yourself more...
life is bout who you love and who you hurt,
its about how you feel about your self,
its about trust happiness and compassion,
its about replacing hate with love,
avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance,
and building confidence.
Just wanna let u know...
we love you more than anyone else do kiez...
you'll always have us behind you no matter what happens...
Forgetting the pain, try to hide the scars again.
Someday i'll wake up and it will all be gone.
All that i lived for is now hidden behind the break of dawn.
Life sends obstacles that i can sure get over without a doubt.
*// Always missin' you... //*
Met up with Jerry for lunch yesterday...
it was raining heavily yesterday...
and d path way to d coffee shop behind was muddy...
and yet i still go there...
ain't i stubborn?
The Longest Yard...
probably the only movie i've watch after 2 months...
thanks to wenjie for picking me up after work...
with that bright yellow evo...
to be in that car.... made me feel like an ah lian once again... *hair stand*
Had cafe cartel for dinner...
so freaking sinful...
d damn pills are not working...
stupid doctor... i need higher dosage badly =(
3:01 PM
Monday, September 19, 2005
At Momo ::12th August 2005::
2:31 AM
Eyes closed... breath deepens...
((23rd July2005))
2:21 AM
-At momo 23rd july-...
2:20 AM
-At Momo on 23rd July-
I forgot to upload all my recent pics to my beloved blog...
2:19 AM
23rd July 2005
2:10 AM
Friday, September 16, 2005
Cutie cutie...
Happeeee Birthday to you~
Happy burfdae to you...
Happy Burfdae to cutie...
Happi birthday to you.
d silly me sent an mms yst...
and didn't realised...
ended up misunderstanding dear cutie..
sorrie lil' cutie...
more hugs and kisses fer you kiez.
Love, Little gal.
***
Went to momo with gina and janice on wednesday...
We were on d podium most of d time...
It was getting hotter...
i mean literally hotter...
so i joined wayne and arthur who were below...
hong jie came to join me later...
he was sooo drunk by then
and could barely stand on his own.
He wanted me to send him back...
but arthur and andrew were waiting fer me.
In d end, I had to ask arthur to leave first...
so sorrie. But i guess he'll understand.
Luckily, Hongjie works in momo...
and I managed to make him return into d office.
Received an sms on my results on d dancefloor...
i didn't dare to see my grades after realising it...
but it was definitely a relief...
though it wasn't what i really want.
I got 3 As, 2 B+ and 1 B.
I continued to enjoy myself after that.
Janice played pool fer a while...
as usual... she impressed those guys standing around.
Andrew sent me back home to change...
and sent me to bukit batok.
Had a cup of coffee from Macdonald
to help me survive through the day in office.
Haha... i stayed in d office durin lunch to have my precious nap.
12:50 PM
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Labels and labels and more labels...
Is that all i can learn during these 11 weeks of IPP?
Though tedious but it doesn't require much thinking.
This job is purely insulting my intelligence...
Who doesn't know how to do filing and photocopying.
And even though this job is related to my specialisation...
but the tasks i'm doing is not d main part of it.
Yes... sourcing of warehouse, in-house instead of outsource to freightman...
have indeed let me see a bigger picture of what logistics is.
But this work is shit...
how can i further source for forklift and racking when we haven't even select the warehouse.
I need information of the warehouse... d height d width... d tonnage capacity... blah~ blah~
It's just crap work.
Nevermind if there are piles of never-ending work.
Nevermind if everyone in d company is making use of a cheap labour employee.
Nevermind if d environment is bad.
But please just gimme something that is more challenging...
something that makes my IPP worthwhile.
Lucky adeline works for d super nice boss.
Everyday is a brand new thing...
And she could go home at 4pm today after sending him to River Valley.
Well... at d end of d day... everything just depends on luck i guess.
11:57 PM
d rain was pouring heavily...
we had no way to leave d building without an umbrella...
decided to go back to d office...
as we took d lift up...
adeline and i were talkin about stuck in d lift...
when d lift reached 3rd storey...
it stopped... and d door did not open for sometime...
both of us were shocked for a moment...
oh no... how can it be so coincident...
luckily d door opened when we pressed < | >
phew~
we went back to d office in search of an umbrella...
in d end... decided to ask d boss if he has...
he passed adeline his car keys to get d umbrella from his car....
and even allow her to drive his precious 6 series to her car...
we left d office ...
den suddenly we heard "adeline!"...
we looked around... there was no one...
den we again "adeline"... both of us shrieked instantly.
later we realised it was our boss.
oh man... what's wrong on a rainy day...
everything just freak us out...
anyway... he handed us 2 huge umbrella...
sucha nice boss we have.
Lucky adeline works for him directly.
12 - 09 - 2005
a day that meant so much to her...
will u remember?
dearest joel bro...
happy 19th birthday...
god bless... take care...
muckzz!
with much love,
fransca sis
*// Lil' girl is happee... gdnite cutie... sweet dreams =) //*
12:40 AM
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Cutie just left...
I love d nite with c.u.t.i.e
*Simple yet **awesome**
d only one who is always able to make me =) throughout d nite...
Mesmerized by the sheer force of his presence
d first sight of him once again melted my heart...
Seeing him in black button long sleeve top...
was a complete turnon.
Relished his charm and basked in his presence...
Went to Xzotic for a drink...
After that we had suan la tang
((hot and spicy? sour and spicy?))
---Too hot for you?---
Luxuriate in his companionship...
Loving his sense of humour and hilarious stories...
Kit kat...
IVAN or NAN...
Thanks fer d mind-blowing nite cutie =]
"Once you decide to titillate instead of illuminate...
you create a climate of expectation that
requires a higher and higher level of intensity" (Bill Moyers).
5:06 AM
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Poor andrew...
i'm sooo sorrie...
without him... i would have slept on d streets of orchard...
he had to carry me outta d car... carry my heavy bag... my shoes... open and close the doors...
opps... i think i'm freaking heavy...
after bourbon, 1 jug of apricot brandy... 1 jug of long island... martell nit... beer tower.
I can hardly remember what happened last nite...
but i remembered d bouncer helped me out of devils...
by the back door where no one else walks...
coming out through orchard parade hotel lobby.
Thanks so much for taking care of me d entire nite.
My dear joel...
i'm soooooo sorrriieeeee....
i really didn't know you made a special trip to momo and devils to look for me...
my phone batt died and i was so drunk...
that i didn't left through the main entrance...
i know you waited for hours...
and i wished we had met up...
i promise i'll make it up to you.
Please dun get upset...
or disappointed...
it ain't that difficult for us to meet up...
our friendship of 9 years...
will continue to grow... till we see each other with white hair kiez.
Miss ya dearly.
Brought dar-rie, ryan and his friend to pan cafe (christa and naomi cafe) at Bugis last thursday.
Vintage displays... dim lights... big sofas...
I love them all... d same cozy feeling never change...
miss d times with alex and ivan (starhub) there...
ivan's poker cards tricks...
A nice place to chill and slack.
Berry manilow milkshake, onion rings, beer, poker cards...
these were perfect complements to the soothing ambience...
Jack came to look for me at 10 plus...
Dar-rie and ryan left soon after he reached.
5:28 PM
Friday, September 09, 2005
wat i got in d end...
was a wider barrier between us...
liar... was not wat i tried to said...
u have misunderstood me once again...
yes... d fact is dat i hav move on...
but u'll nvr be able to realise or see
what lies at d bottom of my heart...
this show how much u actually understand...
what kind of person i am.
i tott i was able to move on completely...
but i guess i was wrong...
i just do not have d courage to face anything that lies ahead of me.
I asked God...
Why? Why he gave me d most precious thing in d world to me...
and took it back in d end...
But i took it as a test...
a test that was far too much for me to fathom...
a test that was beyond my ability...
Then i realised...
it was his love for me...
to learn to cherish and treasure those around me.
I asked myself...
y do i still cry when i think back of d times...
It ran deep through my mind...
then i see d picture...
of how big a part you have played in my life.
Living without you sure ain't easy.
I prayed to God...
Give me all those precious memories...
d fire of love that lights my heart...
Give me back the golden days of pure love.
But through it all...
I know it wasn't within my control.
Nothing in this world,
Can compare to the way I feel for you..
The way I feel when I'm with you,
Nothing can compare to tour embrace,
I once whispered to myself...
that would give everything... to feel... this love,
The love you once had for me.
But i know it was not possible...
And still... I can't comprehend d insurmountable difficulties...
*//she's sorrie for being overly sensitive...//*
I dun want you to feel sick and tired...
so just dun bother what i write...
or how i feel...
maybe... maybe...
you'll be able to feel better.
No need to walk away...
life still goes on...
8:56 AM
Thursday, September 08, 2005
how.can.i.ever.believe.whatever.u.have.said...
d.keys.are.in.d.hands.of.hers...
embrace.you.when.d.walls.within.collapsed...
i.know.it.too.well...
it.was.a.lie
time.to.let.go...
memories.will.just.be.memories...
d.past.is.old.and.boring...
d.present.will.always.be.new.and.different.in.d.eyes.of.yours.
fading.feelings.was.what.you.said...
but.it.was.far.apart.from.d.truth.hidden.in.your.heart.
now.i.wish.i.can.take.away.that.chapter.of.my.life.away...
because.no.matter.how.hard...
images.just.dun.disappear...
and.tears.start.rolling.down.my.cheeks...
cos.you.have.never.tried.to.understand
10:48 AM
Monday, September 05, 2005
-Dream on-
I feel soooo good...
1) Hair treatment for 6 hours...
2) Leg hair removal...
3) Foot masque...
5) Mositurising body whip
4) Facial...
I feel and smell like a baby from top to toe...
I want my milk bath...
gonna buy almond powder, oatmeal, milk and roses tomorrow...
Gonna end off here...
Next program on d list: Oto slimming belt...
11:59 PM
Bra Shoppe...
A Lingerie studio...
By appointment basis...
Pretty concept...
that comes with a premium service...
Impressed by d beauteous range of lingerie...
I love them all...
5 new sets of lingerie...
I can't wait to wear all of them.
Jack picked me up at 1opm plus...
Went to Coffee club express...
d one at cali...
Brought me to Upper seletar...
a nice atmosphere...
It's a rock...
No...
It's a goose...
No...
It's a bird on a rock...
... Zhu Tou.
Went home at 4...
I overslept again...
This time no choice...
went to get an MC...
anyway...
have been coughing for a month...
stupid doctor prescribe so many rubbish medicine...
lucky learn from dar-rie ...
oh.. i think i have this at home...
Janice...
dun worry...
i know u care...
thanks so much fer always being there fer me...
i'll learn to take care...
and treasure myself more...
love you my dearest babe.
kisses 4 u...
*// she's afraid... //*
7:38 PM
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Janice said something that i found really funnie...
Cutie only needs to use his charm and 2 lines...
Jack needs to use a few more lines...
to make me happee.
Haven been blogging regularly...
and i haven been having enough rest...
Dar-rie says intensive clubbing is no good...
well... now i only get to club twice a week.
I only slept for an hour on wed nite...
Jack picked me up at 11pm plus at my place... [after d project superstar]
and brought me to d mac cafe at west coast park on thursday...
pleasant place to chill out...
after that... he brought me to d west coast reservoir...
beautiful place in da night...
there were no trees around...
and the sky was beautiful...
we stayed out till 6.30...
d moment i reached home...
had to just grabbed my stuff
and went off to work straight...
i was dead tired at work...
i could practically dozed off in every single position...
Went to Xzotic yesterday...
Dar-rie, Janice and Ryan were with me...
Well... didn't get to see what i wanted.
= At Xzotic 2nd level =
Janice and i headed to Momo after that...
d person that says she smells like a baby msg her.
Met up with Jack and Jimmy there...
and left at 4 plus...
Jack sent me home...
*// what should i do... i dun want... i dun want... //*
7:15 PM
